It is amazing what challenges the mind when I miss a day of yoga or meditation or prayer. Ill liken it to 'what happens' when I eat candy...I get a great big rush of energy and then I crash. I am not 'present' and flounder around at the 'effect' of something I chose that changes who I am when I invite 'IT' in. Sunday, I missed yoga and I took it out on....
monday and engaged in dueling diction; I had words with a dear friend that did not go very well. So what? I decided to challenge myself to a yoga rocks class which is a dynamic series of sequenced postures that seamlessly flow together.This class makes you sweat and burn off toxins and promotes itself as a rock em sock em yoga class. I felt the need to work harder, sweat and bust out the frustration. I was up for the challenge. Aside from feeling feisty I knew this would shake and shift my energy and open me to recieve what I needed to heal the situation.
I set an intention for the class, PEACE. Stepping into the unknown sequences in this class is like going to your first day of kindegarten. One has no idea what to expect. We may feel a little shy so we pay extra close attention or look around a lot to see what others are doing. This reminds me of an incident many years ago when my sister forgot to wear her underwear to kindergarten class one day. That sent the nuns and my mother into a scramble to rectify this little oversight. Noone expected THAT to happen. Today, the memory sends her into hysterics. It's good to laugh!
My words today on the phone call to my friend leave me feeling exposed, like that little girl, no underwear, nothing up underneath me and noone to save me from myself. I would like to delete the day and start all over. I have no peace whatsoever. You can just imagine what I look like in this yoga class with all the residue of anger and frustration going round and round in my brain, hanging on to my story. Limbs flying everywhere. What balance? I am making a universal statement here and when I say that we all get thoughts in our heads, and once in a while hold onto them for dear life and shake them around like a raggedy ann doll. Oh Mad Mind, Manic Mind, Mismanaged Mind and murky mouth. Friends and family are our greatest teachers; There but for the grace of God go I.
The end of class is signalled by stretching our bodies from the mat sitting on the floor. I was in a staff pose, elongating the back and I found the length of my torso quivering, my back not supporting in this very simple sit-up-straight position. This physical workout is designed to create detoxifying heat in the body. The heat helps to losen the blocked energy, much as accupuncture frees up the meridians or access points for chi or life-giving-energy to move through. I could feel the emotions surrounding the telephone incident rising up to meet me, to challenge me and to change me if I would allow. When the energy reached the level of my heart, it felt like a nuclear meltdown of all positions and stories and with it the anger and frustration. The experience felt startling-ly expansive, like taking a nitrogen pill under the tongue when the heart is under attack! Love, liquid grace disolving barriers and absolving wounds leaving only itself in its wake and Peace. Wow, yoga is such a gift! Listening, letting go and forgiveness even better!
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